Luciana Bernardes Vasquez (photo), a Spiritist since 2011, was born in the city Campinas and lives in Nova Odessa, both in the Brazilian state of São Paulo. She is an economist and researcher with PhD in Economic Development in the field of Rural Economy and the Environment at the Campinas State University. She is also a volunteer worker and treasurer at the Spiritist Centre Caminho de Damasco (Road to Damascus).

In this interview, she shares the painful experience she went through when her husband passed away, leaving her with young children.

How did your experience as a widow made you get closer to Spiritism?

I was not linked to any religion and I really lacked that [when my husband passed away]. A year after my husband died, I realised that I would not be able to cope with his absence on my own. Even though I was being seen by a psychologist, I began to get depressed. Something was missing. That is when a friend of mine invited me to go to a Spiritist Centre. I began undergoing a Spiritual treatment, then joined a study group and never looked back.

Como percebe que isso a ajudou?

In which way did that help you?

O que mais me ajudou foi a compreensão da magnitude da vida espiritual e da grandeza da misericórdia divina. Entendi que eu não era uma “injustiçada”, que meus filhos não estavam sendo “castigados”... que tudo era parte de um processo de amadurecimento do espírito pelo qual todos nós temos que passar...

What helped me the most was to understand the magnitude of spiritual life and the greatness of divine mercy. I understood that I was a “victim of injustice” and that my children were not being “punished”… that everything was part of a process of spiritual development that we all need to go through.

In which way the understanding that the soul is immortal, with the depth of explanations provided by Spiritism, helped you overcome the challenges that you would face, including bringing up your young children?

Understanding that life goes on helps us not to give up. It helps us understand that adversities, such as the loss of our loved ones, may (and should) change into opportunities for inner growth and for the strengthening of our faith. Moreover, it helped me understand my responsibility towards those two Spirits (my children), who reincarnated under my protection, gave me extra strength to keep me and them going.

When your husband passed away, how old were your children? And how did they react to the new information that the Spiritist Teachings provided and that you passed on to them?

One of them was 4 years-old and the other, only 10 months-old. Now, having come into contact with Spiritism, they deal with the separation in a better manner. In the beginning the challenged it and sometimes even got angry when they saw their school colleagues with their parents. They still miss their father but understand it better and even use their experience to help other friends who went through the same situation after them.

Considering that your answers can provide great comfort to other people who faced or are facing similar challenges, what would you say, from the bottom of your heart, to women who became widows?

That life goes on! And that giving up means losing a great learning opportunity. Everytime that something happens to me, I try to understand what it is trying to teach me… It has become clear to me that the situation will not stop presenting itself to me until I learn what I need to learn from it. It is not easy, but it is possible to overcome it!

From all your memories of those challenges, which one comes up to your mind?

I cried a lot during the first year. Every single day, all the time. I almost went mad. I did not accept having to put a halt to so many projects and dreams. I only stopped dreaming when I realised that was doing a great deal of damage both to me and to him, that the pain of separation affected Spirits on both sides of life. He could be suffering too and I might be making things worse for him with my sadness and anger.

If you make an inner journey, a chronological one, what assessment you make now of what you went through?

That was my awakening for spiritual life. Perhaps I would still be sleeping if it was not for what happened to me then.

And what would you like to highlight from your experience in the Spiritist Centre where you work as a volunteer?

I like very much the study groups and recommend them to everyone with whom I speak to, as that was what changed my life. The great benefactor, Emmanuel, said that knowledge is one of the wings that will take us to God. We know that it is not enough but it is an important step. By understanding the spiritual matters and the greatness of the Love of God I began to see the world, the problems (which I like to call opportunities) and people with different eyes. We stop seeing evil in other people and begin seeing them as “ill” or “far away from God”. We stop seeing things that happen as problems or punishments and begin seeing them as lessons, and that changes our lives in a profound way.

Is there anything else you would like to add?