The family of the present day is evolving to great strides in education, access to technology and health, but what about the spiritual component? How do the family nuclei place this part so fundamental to the moral and social foundation? We spoke with Denise Cardoso, an expert psychologist in couple therapy and family and a member of the Medical-Spiritist Association of Santo Angelo (RS), on the role of spirituality in the contemporary family.

Can religion or religious frequency stimulate spirituality?

Spirituality is a dimension of the human experience and family life. Spiritual beliefs and practices have anchored and nurtured families for millennia and across diverse cultures. Today, the vast majority of families all over the world adopt some form of expression for their spiritual needs, both within and outside organized religion. As stated above, religious frequency certainly stimulates spirituality. To attend a religion would be our investment in a set of internal values, a sense of life that transcends matter, the acquisition of knowledge that will guide the faith of each one, conditions that we acquire with practice.

Spirituality flows and emerges in significance throughout the course of life. With neurobiological connections, it involves the deepest and most genuine connection within the self, considered as our inner Spirit, the center of being or of the soul. It includes ethical values ​​and a moral compass, expanding awareness for responsibility for oneself and beyond, with awareness of our interdependence. In this way, spirituality transcends the self: it stimulates a sense of meaning, wholeness, harmony, and connection to all others - from the most intimate bonds to the extended family and the networks in the community to a unity with life, nature and the universe.

Most people say that their religious beliefs help them solve problems, respect themselves and others, help the needy keep away from things they know they should not do. From this, religion can be the expression of an organized spirituality, defined in its structures and can reflect in the way the person has contact with reality, bringing more help and understanding to their lives.

At what point should subjects be introduced on the spiritual theme?

In my view, to approach the spiritual theme at home should always happen, where the parents would be the example, starting from the Gospel in the home, attending at least once a week a Spiritist house, a church, a temple of prayer, building in the family the understanding of the importance of faith in our lives, and the belief in the higher self that is God.

Kardec, in The Book of Spirits, tells us - in questions 659 et seq. - about the value and character of prayer, which is an act of worship. To pray to God is to think of Him, to approach Him and to communicate with Him. By prayer one can propose three things: to praise, to ask and to thank. And he still tells us that the man who prays becomes better and stronger when facing the temptations of evil.

But this is not always the case because many of those seeking spiritual help, not only need to solve immediate problems, but also yearn for greater meaning and purpose in life, that is, they lack information and knowledge. Spiritual sources can be explored to offer a broader view of humanity and meaningful connections that inspire its best potential. Physicians can encourage their patients to identify and utilize a wide range of potential spiritual resources that fit their values.

Is there any negative point regarding religiosity?

The negative point comes from the moment when the excesses appear, and the imbalance in life, that is, to think that to have faith and belief in God is to attend every day His place of prayers, to leave the family at home in attendance to religious issues, and to not prioritize children and spouse; also, when religion becomes so rigid and inflexible that it ends up by being overly restrictive and limiting. "Blind faith accepts, without verification, both true and false, and at every step clashes with evidence and reason. Taken to excess, it produces fanaticism. Settled in error, sooner or later it collapses". (The Gospel according to Spiritism, chapter XIX, item 6).

According to the US physician Harold Koenig, religion can encourage magical thoughts as people pray for a cure as if God were a giant genius about to meet every human desire.

The above mentioned often becomes a hindrance for religious aspects to be seen as something to add to and not to make our lives more difficult. In order to minimize or avoid these difficulties, it is necessary to have a more open communication between health professionals and patients, on spiritual matters, to understand the patient's point of view, understanding the logic of his decision. And in the family context it is not very different, because the dialogue between the members of the family is essential to the maintenance of balanced and healthy relationships.

In your experience, what are the benefits that spirituality brings to the dynamics of a family?

Individuals and their families seek, in their religious beliefs, mainly, the consolation and improvement for their physical and soul diseases. People with religious knowledge are mobilized to reduce anxiety, increase hope or a sense of control. Regarding religious practice, people may pray, meditate, read religious scriptures, attend religious services, take part in religious rituals, or rely on religious support from clergy or other members of the church, synagogue, mosque, or temple. Religious beliefs and their practices are used to regulate emotion during times of illness, changes, and circumstances that are beyond the personal control of individuals.

Although the differences in religious orientation, the goal, the main purpose of spirituality, is to be open to the transcendent dimension of life and all relationships, both in daily practice and in adversity. With spiritual pluralism and appreciative inquiry, therapists can respect the dignity, worth and potential of all family members and support their spiritual journey in the pursuit of greater meaning, connection, and fulfillment as they move forward in their lives.

Encouraging religious practice in no way competes with any treatment, only adds more resources to individuals, often focused on materialism and devoid of God.

From the resumption or insertion of spirituality in the family contexts, I see the improvement and / or openness to dialogue, which is often the most divergent point, due to the difficulties of respecting one's point of view and getting rid of pride, vanity and selfishness. Rather than measuring strength with one another (family), we exercise love and charity, and only with God / spirituality in the heart is it possible.