These words are by Deise Tallarico Pupo (photo), our interviewee this Sunday. Deise was born in Descalvado, in the Brazilian state of São Paulo, and lives in Resende, in the state of Rio de Janeiro. She has a degree in Library Science with specialisation in Visual Deficiency and Deafness. She became a Spiritist in 1976 and is a volunteer worker at two Spiritist groups: Centro Espírita Francisco Cândido Xavier (Itatiaia-RJ) e Casa de Assistência Espírita Caminho de Esperança (Resende-RJ), as she explains in the following interview:

When and how did you find Spiritism?

I got married in 1968 and, encouraged by my husband, decided to get into university in 1975. I had then three children: Mônica (6), Fábio (4) and Cláudio (1). I was going through a faith crisis and feeling very uneasy in the beginning of 1976. I was raised in Catholicism and cried many times in church, asking for help. I needed to have faith. One day, a young university colleague in São Carlos told me she was going to lend me the letters of a former teacher of us. She was completely unaware of my problems. At night, I read all the letters of Eleonora Barbero Borges. They all had a Spiritist content and were followed by messages by the medium, Chico Xavier. It felt like they were addressed to me and we began there a friendship and an exchange of books that were of great help in what would happen in my life…

How did Spiritism helped and comforted you in the trials that you have faced?

I wouldn’t have survived, in all senses of the word, if it wasn’t for my family, friends, the comforting message of Spiritism, the brothers and sisters in faith and the support from the Spiritual Benefactors. Eventually, it all became very clear to me and I felt like I was simply going through something that I already knew. It was as though the big parts of a puzzle were being put together and I felt light, fully aware that I would need to be strong to survive what was about to come. And that’s how it was.

Would you mind, for the sake of our readers, sum up the sequence of trials and challenges you had to face, involving mainly your children?

1976 was a hard year: in February, Fábio suffered badly with hepatitis; in April, he had bacterial meningitis and had an anaphylactic shock that was difficult to control. I was reading at the time The Gospel According to Spiritism. I was fascinated with the book and my faith had been renewed. Later in the year, on November 14^th, Fábio was run over by a car driven by a 15-year-old, in a remote rural property in Descalvado. I spent four months with him at the hospital in Ribeirão Preto. During that time, I read the whole work dictated by the Spirit, André Luiz. His doctor was a Spiritist and gave us support too. He even gave me a spiritual message sent for us by a medium. I knew somehow that I had to go through this trial and felt the constant presence of my late maternal grandmother near me. People came to talk to me and said I had been very strong. When my son was discharged, I gave out copies of The Gospel According to Spiritism to the nurses to show them were my strength came from. The following years were a very difficult time, both from a material and a Spiritual perspective. We had to sell our house to cover the hospital bills and my son’s rehabilitation work. In 1983, my husband, Mário, died of leukaemia, four months after being diagnosed and falling ill. He was 40 and I was 37 years old. I went back to university to finish my course. As I had promised to my husband, I got my degree and moved to the city of Campinas with my four children. My youngest, Thaís, was born in 1981. Years later, in February 1999, my son Cláudio had a motorbike accident. He was 25. He was in a coma in hospital for nine months, before coming home and passing away in August 2002. My mother, who was my right-hand and had been living with me since my father’s death in 1990, had Alzheimer between 2007 and 2013, when she also passed away. I must say that the Spiritist Group CEAK Campinas, which I attended at the time, gave us huge support during the illnesses of my son and my mother.

How do you feel now?

At the age of 72, I feel more and more connected to Spiritism, these blessed Teachings, which have given me so much enlightenment and comforting. I attend meetings, study groups, healing groups and other activities to give me physical and spiritual strength. I can tell you that I’ve never rebelled against my destiny, even though I’ve cried so many times, as the trials I faced were painful and very intense. I also had to deal, meanwhile, with a crisis in my marriage, at work, to study, to adapt and to bring up my children. Now, I still need to look after Fábio, but I manage to renew my energies through the study of Spiritism, the meetings at the Spiritist Centres and the work that I do, including charity. I do as much charity work as I can, helping other people according to my possibilities.

What aspect of what you’ve learned means the most to you?

Spiritism is, undoubtedly, the Consoler promised by Jesus and that is what distinguishes it from all other religions. Jesus was seen in a different way before Spiritism, which has made it clear that he’s a friend, our model and a guide to be followed! Another relevant aspect is the fact that the information and wisdom provided by Spiritism doesn’t end. It always reveals other nuances, which we perhaps ignored before. The new technologies bring the Spiritist speakers closer to us, even when we can’t physically attend the events or talks. I make the most of that opportunity, watching with Fábio, who’s now 47, many YouTube videos. He is very clear and conscious about the limitations imposed on his life by mistakes made in the past, of which I was surely a participant if not the main culprit. I had a determinant role in the physical disability that he has in this life. I must say, again, that we are all imperfect and there’s always a risk, for all of us, of diverting from the programme agreed for our incarnation! That is why it’s important to pray and be vigilant at all times!

Is there anything else you would like to add?

Without the presence of Spiritism in my life, it would be impossible to overcome the pain and suffering I’ve been through. Spiritism has helped me understand that there is a cause for everything and that we are here on Earth to achieve spiritual progress. The causes of my suffering are many and some come from this incarnation. I got married in 1968, at the age of 21. We wanted to have children and I soon got pregnant. But I had measles during the first month and decided to terminate the pregnancy, as I didn’t think it would be fair to put on the world someone who had more than 90% chance of being born with a disability! It wasn’t an easy decision. I cried a lot, praying for God to give me the blessing of a miscarriage. Mário came to me and said it would be better to “take a chance” … That certainly wasn’t part of the plan for this incarnation. My commitment was to look after or deal with people with some sort of disability. I know I had the free will, according the rules set by the Creator. Kardec says that we are free to sow but we will reap according to what we sow. So, here I am, adjusting to that situation until now, looking after Fábio and trying to do my best! I also looked after my husband, Cláudio, and my mother. And as a result of all that, I ended up helping many disabled people through a project with the UNICAMP university, which created an Accessibility Laboratory at its Central Library. Sometimes I wonder: is this work part of my spiritual readjustment? Am I paying for errors of the past? Perhaps, who knows? There were so many mistakes… But this latest step has left me with a feeling that I have (almost) fulfilled my duties! We must work to help others! Blessed be the Law of Work!