Suicide is preventable and talking to someone is the best way to deal with it

Ivete Marques de Oliveira (photo) is a Clinical Psychologist in the city of Catanduva, in the Brazilian state of São Paulo. She is the current president of AVIVA, or Association for the Appreciation of Life, which hosts the CVV programme of suicide prevention. She is also a volunteer at the Semeador Spiritist Association, where she carries out a number of roles, including that of public speaker. In the following interview, she speaks about the beginnings of CVV – or Centre for the Appreciation of Life:

How was your first contact with Spiritism?

It happened one day when I was planning to commit suicide. A Spiritist message, entitled In times of sorrow, was delivered to me. It touched my heart in such a profound way that I burst into tears and gave up the idea of killing myself. I became an avid reader of Spiritist books and I began to see a new world unveiling before me. Life began making sense to me and all suicide thoughts disappeared from my mind. 

What aspect of Spiritism touches you the most?

It is mainly the comforting message that it conveys, bringing encouragement and hope to those who have access to it. It shows that God is fair, but also merciful. 

How did the Centro de Valorização da Vida, or Centre for the Appreciation of Life, begin in Brazil?

The CVV began in the 1960s when Edgar Armond posted a letter with a newspaper article to Jacques André Conchon. It was an article about The Samaritans, a suicide prevention group founded in England by Reverend Chad Varah. His programme inspired a group of 14 young Spiritists from the city of São Paulo to begin working on that field, after realising that the city had a high rate of suicides. The CVV went through several stages of development before reaching its current model, in which volunteers do four-hour shifts every week. Counselling can be received online, on the phone or in person, in units spread across 24 Brazilian states and the capital, Brasilia. Assistance is also available via email or chat. We have so far received more than 3 million phone calls through the 188 number. We are, effectively, an emotional accident and emergency unit, available 24 hours a day, 365 days of the year. Prospect volunteers can apply on our website: www.cvv.org.br. All they need is to be over the age of 18 and to be willing to help others and available for a training programme before starting. 

And how did your interest in the CVV programme begin?

I’m a suicide survivor. This is an issue that touches my soul. I believe it’s my duty to do this volunteer work with the CVV. I also worked in a Spiritist psychiatric hospital, where I acquired huge experience in mental disorders, including depression, which is one of the highest risk factors for suicide. More than 97% of those who attempt suicide suffer from some mental disorder and try to put an end to that unbearable psychological pain by looking for this fake door. They do it because they’re desperate, because they feel abandoned and neglected or because they have lost all hope in the future. It all begins with thoughts of death which are then potentialized by the Spirits who get attached to them and who are still ignorant about the true meaning of life.  

Being a good listener is essential to help others in that area. What would you like to say about that based on your experience?

We are imperfect Spirits and none of us can say that we never carried out a suicide in previous lives or will not do it in the future. We carry internal conflicts with us that come from grave errors we made along centuries of existence on Earth. Recent technological developments have had a very positive impact on society, but they have at the same time minimised the importance of physical contact. So individuals end up isolated in a world of loneliness, anguish and existential void, which can lead to thoughts of self-destruction. Active listening is one of the most important aspects of suicide prevention. It requires acceptance, understanding and the absence of criticism, prejudices and judgement. As the person begins speaking about their pain and putting into words how they feel, they are able to process their distressing experiences and to regain their psychological balance.  

Is there any experience that you would like to share with us?

Once I was going back home after giving a talk in a neighbouring town, focusing on the issue of suicide. I was listening to spiritual healing songs when a group of armed robbers took me as hostage. All of sudden, however, they had a change of plan. They began returning my money, my credit card and my notebook, which had all my notes for other Spiritist talks. They also protected me from the other robbers, who were driving in a car behind us. They left me on a dark road, in the middle of nowhere, but I was spotted by another driver. He said he saw me because there was a light shining next to me. Three days later, the police returned my car, without any sign of damage. Deliverance is the best word to describe it. 

Please leave us with your final thoughts.

If you’re in Brazil and you need help, please dial 188. The call is free of charge and confidential. If someone next to you is in need of help, please offer to help them. As one of the founders of the CVV said: “The day when friendship becomes something as natural as the air we breathe, we will no longer need organisations like the CVV.” Suicide is preventable and talking to someone is the best way to deal with it.