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Year 2 - N° 93 – February 8, 2009

ABEL SIDNEY     
abelsidney@gmail.com    
Porto Velho, Rondônia (Brasil)
Translation
Mani Fagundes dos Santos - manifagundes@yahoo.co.nz

 

School, parents and children: the challenges of new times

We have to be aware of our responsibility towards the children, so
that they, as our living letters, one day may give the best
testimony to the world what they learned from us
 

The lack of attention of parents on their children has caused problems of all kinds. One such problem is the burden that schools suffer from this. Schools, in fact, have been one of the institutions that have suffered the most from unbalanced families. All teachers have some stories to tell that are not at edifying about this. The seriousness of the matter is of concern of Juan Carlos Tedesco, an Argentine educator. (1) He spent part of his work "The New Educational Pact" to the one called "lack of socialization of students." (2) In other words, the family, the first socializing institution  is  not   fulfilling   its  role,

which is to make children assimilate the rules and basic values necessary for social coexistence. In short, they have not learned to "behave," to have "good habits", to "respect the right of siblings and colleagues" and so on. 

Here are a few lines of the author’s ideas, in his interview with the magazine “New School”: 

"... in recent decades (...), in the whole world, the family is losing its ability to offer primary socialization that, in many cases by the absence of the father figure, or because this image changes two or three times throughout childhood. Furthermore, children today are increasingly incorporating early to different institutions of the family, as pre-schools and day care centres or even someone who cares for them so the mother can work. These adults (care takers) are less important than the parents, form an emotional point of view. Therefore, the first socialization is done without emotional charge, as it was in the past. You cannot just transmit knowledge if the primary socialization, embedded in important values and affection, is not complete. This is reflected in the performance of teachers and in the design of the school. " (Emphasis added) 

The role of parents is to educate their children, spirits that return for one more incarnation 

The new school that arises now also incorporates the role of the family, while the school, which he called total, including "the task of forming the personality."

Faced with this critical picture, involving two key institutions in the training of our children - the family and school - what reflections can the legacy of the Spiritist Doctrine provide? What do the spirits say about this? 

In summary, our children and we are spirits. We live so many lives are necessary to our intellect and moral elevation. The role of parents in this process is to educate their children, spirits that return to one more incarnation. Not always what seems clear, however, can be translated into real actions in our everyday life ... Therefore, the task of educating children, the family itself, parents, even amongst spiritists parents, has been relegated to the background, transferred to the school and teachers. 

To give us a better idea, let us use, therefore, The Gospel according to Spiritism, in chapter XIV, item 9, the message entitled: ingratitude of children and the bonds of family (Kardec, 1996, p. 239), in which St. Augustine on alert: 

"... when producing a body, the soul that embodies it comes from space to advance; be aware of your duties and place all your love in bringing this soul close to God to: that is the mission entrusted to you which reward you will receive if you faithfully complete it. The care and education you give to your children will assist their progress and future well-being. " (Emphasis added)

The spirits of the parents have the task to develop the education of their children: this is their task 

It is clearly the parents’ responsibility to care for the child’s safety, nutrition, protection and finally education, as according to Kardec, should commit to the formation of character. (3)

In The Spirits’ Book, in question 208, also clarifies the issue. Kardec asks the spirits about the influence of parents on their children after their birth. After highlighting that they "have a major influence", they say that "the spirits of parents have the task to develop the education of their children. It is their mission. " The answer ends with a serious warning: " They will become guilty, if they fail in their performance." (Emphasis added) 

We will now explain in topics other evidence that shows the complexity of this problem: 

• Parents want to educate their children in the best possible way. Spiritist parents, who seek the guidance of the Spiritist Doctrine for their lives, are aware of their role and strive to exercise it well, in most cases. 

However, to desire is not enough, it is necessary to create real conditions for this to happen. That is, the time and space of the family living together must be fully satisfied with this objective. In other words, to turn our home, in the little time left to us to be together, into real school of the soul. It is in the area of family living that will forge the aforementioned "primary socialization" with values, rules and the necessary emotional balance, that are very important for the learning ability in children. 

It is necessary and urgent to go back home, and not futile campaigns in support of the family come into our society 

• Parents want to forward their children professionally. And here is one of the major problems of our time: the excessive attention to the purely cognitive aspects of learning of children, as if only the development of intelligence would prepare for the success of "future employment" or the "social status" with which we dream. Hence the disproportionate attention to those so called good and renowned schools, where they must become competitive in the market one day ... Interestingly, the actual market comes to get rid of these illusions pointing to other factors in the profile of a good professional, a good emotional quotient, of course, it does not arise only from years of thinking and exercising the memory, you do not learn it in schools, but mainly in areas of family relationships, including the coexistence between parents and children...

In this framework, we should feel alerts to our responsibilities in front of our children, so that, as our living letters, one day may give the best testimony to the world what they learned from us... 

So it is always necessary and urgent to go back home. Not some of the futile campaigns in favour of the family that we see in the Spiritist movement and in other religions. "Family, tighten this bond" was the motto of the campaign promoted by USE few years ago, with its direct and suggestive invitation. 

Affective bonds tightened, enhanced coexistence, problems with the possibility of being solved. 

Considering the time always short for an "in family life," according to the old way, the quality of the time we devote to them might mark them forever. For that we must redefine our scale of values and answer the simple but difficult question: "what is most important in our lives?" 
 

Notes:

(1) Director of the regional office in Buenos Aires of the International Institute for Educational Planning, UNESCO body that discusses new directions for education.

(2) Socialization is the process by which the individual in the course of its social coexistence, assimilating the rules, norms and values of institutions and groups that surround, making possible the integration, adaptation to society.

(3) For Kardec, as noted in comments to issue 685 of The Book of Spirits, education "... is the art form of the characters, which instils habits, because education is the set of habits. " (Highlights of the original.)

References:

New School, Issue Number 156, and October 2002.

Kardec, A. The Gospel according to Spiritism. 112 ed. Brasilia: FEB, 1996.

Kardec, A. The Spirits’ Book. 76 ed. Brasilia: FEB, 1995.

 


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