School,
parents and children:
the challenges of new
times
We
have to be aware of our
responsibility towards
the children, so
that they, as our living
letters, one day may
give the best
testimony to the world
what they learned from
us
The lack of attention of
parents on their
children has caused
problems of all kinds.
One such problem is the
burden that schools
suffer from this.
Schools, in fact, have
been one of the
institutions that have
suffered the most from
unbalanced families. All
teachers have some
stories to tell that are
not at edifying about
this. The seriousness of
the matter is of concern
of Juan Carlos Tedesco,
an Argentine educator.
(1) He spent part of his
work "The New
Educational Pact" to the
one called "lack of
socialization of
students." (2) In other
words, the family, the
first socializing
institution is not
fulfilling its role,
|
|
which is to make
children assimilate the
rules and basic values
necessary for social
coexistence. In short,
they have not learned to
"behave," to have "good
habits", to "respect the
right of siblings and
colleagues" and so on. |
Here are a few lines of
the author’s ideas, in
his interview with the
magazine “New School”:
"... in recent decades
(...), in the whole
world, the family is
losing its ability to
offer primary
socialization that, in
many cases by the
absence of the father
figure, or because this
image changes two or
three times throughout
childhood. Furthermore,
children today are
increasingly
incorporating early to
different institutions
of the family, as
pre-schools and day care
centres or even someone
who cares for them so
the mother can work.
These adults (care
takers) are less
important than the
parents, form an
emotional point of view.
Therefore, the first
socialization is done
without emotional
charge, as it was in the
past. You cannot just
transmit knowledge if
the primary
socialization, embedded
in important values and
affection, is not
complete. This is
reflected in the
performance of teachers
and in the design of the
school. " (Emphasis
added)
The role of parents is
to educate their
children, spirits that
return for one more
incarnation
The new school that
arises now also
incorporates the role of
the family, while the
school, which he called
total, including "the
task of forming the
personality."
Faced with this critical
picture, involving two
key institutions in the
training of our children
- the family and school
- what reflections can
the legacy of the
Spiritist Doctrine
provide? What do the
spirits say about this?
In summary, our children
and we are spirits. We
live so many lives are
necessary to our
intellect and moral
elevation. The role of
parents in this process
is to educate their
children, spirits that
return to one more
incarnation. Not always
what seems clear,
however, can be
translated into real
actions in our everyday
life ... Therefore, the
task of educating
children, the family
itself, parents, even
amongst spiritists
parents, has been
relegated to the
background, transferred
to the school and
teachers.
To give us a better
idea, let us use,
therefore, The Gospel
according to Spiritism,
in chapter XIV, item 9,
the message entitled:
ingratitude of children
and the bonds of family
(Kardec, 1996, p. 239),
in which St. Augustine
on alert:
"... when producing a
body, the soul that
embodies it comes from
space to advance; be
aware of your duties and
place all your love in
bringing this soul close
to God to: that is the
mission entrusted to you
which reward you will
receive if you
faithfully complete it.
The care and
education you give
to your children will
assist their progress
and future well-being. "
(Emphasis added)
The spirits of the
parents have the task to
develop the education of
their children: this is
their task
It is clearly the
parents’ responsibility
to care for the child’s
safety, nutrition,
protection and finally
education, as according
to Kardec, should commit
to the formation of
character. (3)
In The Spirits’ Book, in
question 208, also
clarifies the issue.
Kardec asks the spirits
about the influence of
parents on their
children after their
birth. After
highlighting that they "have
a major influence",
they say that "the
spirits of parents have
the task to develop the
education of their
children. It is their
mission. " The answer
ends with a serious
warning: " They will
become guilty, if they
fail in their
performance."
(Emphasis added)
We will now explain in
topics other evidence
that shows the
complexity of this
problem:
• Parents want to
educate their children
in the best possible
way. Spiritist parents,
who seek the guidance of
the Spiritist Doctrine
for their lives, are
aware of their role and
strive to exercise it
well, in most cases.
• However, to
desire is not enough, it
is necessary to
create real conditions
for this to happen. That
is, the time and space
of the family living
together must be fully
satisfied with this
objective. In other
words, to turn our
home, in the little
time left to us to be
together, into real
school of the soul.
It is in the area of
family living that will
forge the aforementioned
"primary socialization"
with values, rules and
the necessary emotional
balance, that are very
important for the
learning ability in
children.
It is necessary and
urgent to go back home,
and not futile campaigns
in support of the family
come into our society
• Parents want to
forward their children
professionally. And here
is one of the major
problems of our time:
the excessive attention
to the purely cognitive
aspects of learning of
children, as if only the
development of
intelligence would
prepare for the success
of "future employment"
or the "social status"
with which we dream.
Hence the
disproportionate
attention to those so
called good and
renowned schools,
where they must become
competitive in the
market one day ...
Interestingly, the
actual market comes to
get rid of these
illusions pointing to
other factors in the
profile of a good
professional, a good
emotional quotient,
of course, it does not
arise only from years of
thinking and exercising
the memory, you do not
learn it in schools, but
mainly in areas of
family relationships,
including the
coexistence between
parents and children...
In this framework, we
should feel alerts to
our responsibilities in
front of our children,
so that, as our living
letters, one day may
give the best testimony
to the world what they
learned from us...
So it is always
necessary and urgent
to go back home. Not
some of the futile
campaigns in favour of
the family that we see
in the Spiritist
movement and in other
religions. "Family,
tighten this bond" was
the motto of the
campaign promoted by USE
few years ago, with its
direct and suggestive
invitation.
Affective bonds
tightened, enhanced
coexistence, problems
with the possibility of
being solved.
Considering the time
always short for an "in
family life," according
to the old way, the
quality of the time
we devote to them might
mark them forever. For
that we must redefine
our scale of values and
answer the simple but
difficult question:
"what is most important
in our lives?"
Notes:
(1)
Director of the regional
office in Buenos Aires
of the International
Institute for
Educational Planning,
UNESCO body that
discusses new directions
for education.
(2) Socialization is the
process by which the
individual in the course
of its social
coexistence,
assimilating the rules,
norms and values of
institutions and groups
that surround, making
possible the
integration, adaptation
to society.
(3) For Kardec, as noted
in comments to issue 685
of The Book of Spirits,
education "... is the
art form of the
characters, which
instils habits, because
education is the set of
habits. " (Highlights of
the original.)
References:
New
School, Issue Number
156, and October 2002.
Kardec, A. The Gospel
according to Spiritism.
112 ed. Brasilia: FEB,
1996.
Kardec, A. The Spirits’
Book. 76 ed. Brasilia:
FEB, 1995.
|