It is questioned what exactly Jesus meant when He Said “Let not man separate what God joined together” if Israelites in those days practiced polygamy on a high scale and a woman could be disposed of according to the rules of Moses.

Even among Christians polygamy persisted partially until the 5^th Century when, according to St. Augustine, the Roman Catholic Church prohibited it in order to accommodate itself to the Greek-Roman law, which prescribed just one legal wife, tolerating concubines and prostitution.

Time and the evolution of customs allowed for monogamy to establish itself, even though with only a little over 2/3 (two thirds) of mankind, since it excludes Islam, which tolerates up to 4 wives.

Within those two thirds that adopt monogamous marriage extra-conjugal relationships are still practiced either by sheer sensuality or even by affinity.

To better understand the subject, we transcribed as follows the only excerpt of the Gospel (Mathew, chap. XIX, verses 3 to 9) in which Jesus supposedly dealt with the subject, not on his own initiative, but because he was provoked:

“The Pharisees also came unto him, tempting him, and saying unto him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause? And he answered and said unto them. Have ye not read that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female, and said:

For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.

They say unto him, why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away? He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to out away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so.

And I say unto you, whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth he which is put away doth commit adultery”.

In the second highlighted statement, Jesus says it is lawful the divorce in case of adultery, which is conflicting with the indissolubility of the marriage stated in the first.

Therefore, not even Jesus consecrated the absolute indissolubility of marriage. Didn’t he say: “Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives”?

Adultery was a great evil in the times of Moses

That means that, not being mutual affection the only determinant of marriage, separation would become necessary. In the second statement, Jesus stretched the concept of adultery in relation to the law of Yahweh dictated to Moses.

Adultery was a great evil at the time. In Deuteronomy, 22;22, it is read: “If a man is found lying down with a married woman, both should be killed. We must expurgate the evil from Israel!”. As an example, Solomon had 700 wives and 300 concubines (Kings, 11:13). David had many wives and concubines (Samuel, 5:13).

This is due to the primitiveness of that people, in which sexual instincts prevailed, including homosexuality and relations with animals. Because of that, Yahweh, a guiding Spirit to the people of Israel, and qualified in the Bible as the only god of Israel (not to be confused with God, “the Supreme Intelligence of the Universe and the primary cause of all things”), established restrictions to sexual relations that are in Leviticus chapter 20, from 7 to 21, transcribed as follows:

7     “Consecrate yourselves and be holy, because I am the LORD your GOD.

8     Keep my decrees and follow them. I am the LORD, who makes you holy.

10     If a man commits adultery with another man’s wife – with the wife of his neighbor – both the adulterer and the adulteress are to be put to death.

11     If a man has sexual relations with his father’s wife, he has dishonored his father. Both the man and the woman are to be put to death; their blood will be on their own heads.

12     If a man has sexual relations with his daughter-in-law, both of them are to be put to death. What they have done is a perversion; their blood will be on their own heads.

13     If a man has sexual relations with a man as one does with a woman, both of them have done what is detestable. They are to be put to death; their blood will be on their own heads.

14     If a man marries (*) both a woman and her mother, it is wicked. Both he and they must be burned in the fire, so that no wickedness will be among you.

15     If a man has sexual relations with an animal, he is to be put to death, and you must kill the animal.
 

16     If a woman approaches an animal to have sexual relations with it, kill both the woman and the animal. They are to be put to death; their blood will be on their own heads. 

Moses put limits to sexual relations 

17     If a man marries (*) his sister, the daughter of either his father or his mother, and they have sexual relations, it is a disgrace. They are to be publicly removed from their people. He has dishonored his sister and will be held responsible.

18     If a man has sexual relations with a woman during her monthly period, he has exposed the source of her flow, and she has also uncovered it. Both of them are to be cut off from their people.

19      Do not have sexual relations with the sister of either your mother or your father, for that would dishonor a close relative; both of you would be held responsible.

20     If a man has sexual relations with his aunt, he has dishonored his uncle. They will be held responsible; they will die childless.

21     If a man marries his brother’s wife, it is an act of impurity; he has dishonored his brother. They will be childless.

With that, Yahweh, through Moses, only established limits to sexual relations, as well as to the formation of each one’s harem.

Jesus came, and placed his doctrine really concise in the Sermon on the Mount, and certainly did not worry about the issue of polygamy, harems, etc., because he knew that time and change of customs would take care of them.

To wrap it up and properly clarify the subject, here’s part of the work published by the Allan Kardec Study Group, which can be found at www.luzdoespiritismo.com:

“Human beings are social creatures who need to cohabit with other beings in order to develop themselves and put into practice all the knowledge acquired. Society as we know is comprised of several smaller societies called families. A healthy society only exists with healthy families. And families begin in marriage.

At the beginning of an affective relationship, the love-passion is very strong and replaces all the rest. As time goes by, it loses its power, although it’s still there. That’s when the love-companionship takes place, the kind of love that rejoices in the happiness of the other, where we feel good about depriving ourselves of their presence and doing good without expecting retribution.

In the future, there will only be the love-companionship that will be called, then, Universal Love. Marriage represents an advanced stage of evolution of the being, when it comes together with respect and consideration for the spouse, established in fidelity. Naturally, civil marriage is a duty to be fulfilled by spiritualists, for it legitimizes a union before current laws that assure to man and woman rights and responsibilities.” 

There are 5 distinct types of marriage 

“Martins Peralva [Studying Meduimship] introduces a didactic division of the different kinds of marriage, into 5 distinct types:

Transcendental: Those are marriages between noble souls that, together, dedicate themselves to works of great value for Mankind. Rare are the cases here on Earth.

Kindred: Those are formed by sympathetic, kindred partners, where there is a true affection of the soul. Generally, they survive the death of the physical body and hold the affection throughout several incarnations. Not very common on Earth.

Probation: Those are unions between mutually committed souls, who are together to pacify consciousnesses in face of serious mistakes done in the past and simultaneously develop values of patience, tolerance and resignation. Those are the most common.

Sacrificing: Those are characterized by a great evolutionary gap between the partners. A Spirit of the highest stature that accepts the union with a less evolved one in order to help his or her spiritual progress.

Accidental: Those are marriages that haven’t been programmed in the spiritual world. They obey only to physical affection, without roots in a sincere affectivity.

We don’t know in which category we fall on, but there are no accidents, no one finds oneself under the same roof by mere chance. ‘God allows, within families, incarnations of unsympathetic or strange with the double purpose of serving as a trial to ones and advancement to others’.” 

It is clear the spiritualist stand on divorce 

“The spiritualistic stand on divorce is thoroughly established in two of the best known works of the spiritualistic codification: The Book of Spirits and The Gospel According to Spiritism.

In the Book of Spirits, question 697, Kardec questions whether the indissolubility of marriage belongs to the Law of God or to some human law. The Spirits replied: ‘The indissolubility of marriage is a law of man and quite contrary to natural law’.”

Transcendental marriages and the like, which are a few, are characterized by complete stability, for they are ruled by the law of love. In those, the worries about divorce and extra-conjugal liaisons disappear. We may say the same about the spouse of a higher level in sacrificing marriages.

The concern about divorce and extra-conjugal liaisons is prevalent in the other types of marriage. Because we are dealing with liaisons of a probation kind, the probability of failure exists and, depending on the kind of disagreement, it is best to get separated, which in many cases preserves the friendship created, which is a progress. Besides, there are cases in which the relationship has been exhausted and both stay together by mere convenience.

In this case, an affectionate relationship outside marriage could well be accepted if it didn’t risk turning things sour and jeopardizing the friendship.

Finally, it is transcribed the instruction contained in the Gospel according to Spiritism:

In the union of sexes, aware of the divine material law, common to all living things, there’s another divine law, unchangeable like all God’s laws and exclusive of a moral kind: the law of love. God wanted all beings to join together not only by bonds of the flesh, but also of the soul, in order for the mutual affection of spouses to be transmitted to the offspring and to have two, instead of just one, to love them, take care of them and make them evolve.

As we evolve on the path to evolution, the types of marriage tend to be transcendental and kindred and then the affirmation: “Let not man separate what God joined together” starts being the absolute truth, because love rules.                                                                       

The accidental marriage, one of the greatest causes of divorce 

This article does not aim to defend divorce or infidelity. Infidelity is one of the greatest causes of disunion. It can be avoided. Sex is highly salutary for us, however, it takes just a man and a woman.

Nowadays, different from the past, you have a test. To test is not hooking up with anyone. It is to properly date and, thus, dating should also be a test for fidelity.

The probation marriage, for being a trial in itself, leads to future problems that can only be overcome without selfishness. It is selfishness that leads us to want to solve problems by wanting our partner to change. Wrong. We can only change ourselves. However, if by being selfish relationships become a hell, it is better to separate and preserve the friendship at least.

One of the greatest causes of divorce is the accidental marriage. In those there are no commitments of probation or adjustments and there are no Karma ties. Quick marriages, as a general rule, are accidental, and in most cases are born from mindless hook-ups and meaningless objectives.

In both probation and accidental marriages that go wrong, they can also be called marriages of “appearance”. In some cases the spouses respect each other and remain friends, in other cases they only tolerate or end up hating each other. Then there is fidelity, companionship. How to be faithful and a companion to somebody you cannot stand or even hate? That’s impossible. It is the union without “the union” itself. That breeds disarrangement that, by the Law of cause and effect, must be adjusted, more likely in future lives, for when two beings are united, they are responsible for each other’s happiness. It is a commitment.

Now here’s the “myth”: It is not right to divorce, to separate before God. What isn’t right in the face of God is unhappiness. Most of these disarrangements can be avoided with a long term relationship, where one can also test fidelity.

If in the times of Moses unions took place at 13 or 15 years of age, it was because life expectancy was short too, around 40 years of age. Nowadays, life expectancy is well over 70 years of age. Therefore, there’s time for a responsible relationship. The relationship is the solid basis for any union, and a greater duration of such reduces the passion, allowing for the parts involved to get to know each other better.

(*) The verb marry is used here in the sense of taking up a wife for one’s harem.