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Marcus
Braga:
“Sexuality and
responsibility walk hand
in hand”
The
author of the book
“Alegria de Servir”
(“Happy to Help”) talks
about sexuality and says
that issues relating to
sex and its implications
need to be thought
through, studied and
discussed
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Marcus Vinicius de
Azevedo Braga (photo)
is an expert on
Education, with a
Master’s Degree on the
subject. He is also the
author of many articles
published in the
Spiritist media and a
regular contributor at
“O Consolador”. He is a
Spiritist speaker and
works in the education
of young Spiritists as a
volunteer at the
Spiritist Group
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Atualpa
Barbosa Lima, in the
Brazilian capital,
Brasilia. He is also the
author of “Alegria de
Servir” (“Happy to
Help”), a book published
by the Brazilian
Spiritist Federation
(FEB). |
How can we deal with the
powerful sexual
instincts that come up
when we are young?
Well, based on all the
discussions held so far
on the subject, the
history of humankind
shows that to repress
and simply deny it is
not the right way. That
leads to lies,
psychological problems
and in some cases to
crime and perversion. It
all stems from the way
we look into sexual
energies. They are
creative energies,
linked to affection, and
not something dirty or
to be feared. But like
all sources of energy,
it creates fear and
demands education and
respect for other people
as well as yourself.
When we are teenagers,
we not only have to deal
with the hormones and a
greater freedom of
action and autonomy, but
that is a period when we
are bombarded with
external influences from
peers and the media.
They have a great
influence on young
people, especially on
the way we deal with our
feelings. In the middle
of all those sources of
power, young people must
look for dialogue with
people he or she
consider to be more
mature; they must read
good books and form
their own opinion,
putting together theory
and practice. That is
where I believe
engagement in Spiritism
is key. I remember my
days in the youth
Spiritist Movement, when
that was a recurrent
theme, which drew the
attention of all the
young people around me.
Why does the practice of
casual sex get so much
attention in the media,
especially during big
events, such as the
carnival?
Sex is linked to the
idea of pleasure, which
is something that is
highly valued these
days; it is used to hike
audiences, to sell
products and events. The
problem does not concern
only the carnival, but
there are wider concerns
with links to sexual
tourism, child
prostitution, the
sexualisation of
children, and human
beings who begin to be
viewed as objects. Also,
we live in an era in
which people value their
freedom of choosing what
to do and what to
consume, in which young
people get fascinated by
dreams of sexual
adventures, where
quantity is more
important than quality,
all that linked to
external appearances and
the culture of
celebrity. Sex is used
in the context of the
marked, where we are
expected to conquer new
markets and targets, and
we live as men and women
without appreciating the
quality of life sex can
bring to our lives. As I
said before, the extreme
views – extreme
conservative approaches
and freedom without
responsibility – are a
result of our
misconceptions about the
sexual energies and our
problems in building
meaningful and mature
relationships. That, I
think, is the main
challenge of our days.
What would be the best
time for young people to
initiate their sexual
life? Only when they get
married?
This is a tricky
question. If I say
before marriage, young
people will show the
interview to their
mother and say: “See,
Spiritism, is backing me
up.” If I say it must be
after the marriage, any
teenage girl who gets
pregnant may be
discriminated against. I
believe the beginning of
the sexual life is an
intimate matter. More
important than “when” is
“with whom” and “why.”
People must think well
whether they want to
have sex for the first
time only to tell their
friends, to avoid
becoming the object of
jokes, or even to keep a
relationship going. Or
is it part of the
natural course of the
relationship, which has
reached a more mature
stage? Finally, one of
the possible
consequences of having a
sexual life is
pregnancy, which has
financial and
professional
implications for the
parents of the new
Spirit. Not to think
about that is
irresponsibility. At
that stage, every young
person has the elements
to begin making
decisions about their
lives, as part of the
natural process of
growing up and maturing.
We can only help them,
but not make the
decisions on their
behalf.
Is there privacy during
the sexual act or are we
watched by discarnate
Spirits?
That is a question we
also ask for when we go
to the toilet, or sit an
exam at school or do
something prosaic as
cutting our nails. I
believe the higher
Spirits occupy
themselves with more
important matters. They
would only be present if
assisting the
reincarnation of
Spirits. Of course if a
discarnate Spirit is
linked to one of the
lovers by a great deal
of hatred he might be
present to try to
intervene, or to curse
them. But I do not think
that is linked to the
sexual act per se. It is
linked to the people
involved. Let us bear in
mind that it all results
from how we view our
sexual energies!
What is your view on
teenage pregnancy, which
may change the course of
events planned for the
two people involved? Can
the birth of a new child
always be seen as a
blessing, even in those
cases?
Who said the pregnancy
will compromise the
plans for the new father
and mother? It might
make it more difficult,
but not necessarily
jeopardize it. No, life
is full of challenges
and teenage (or
unplanned) pregnancy is
one of them, which will
give us a great joy, of
having a baby. It will
certainly force those
involved to mature
quicker, but I have
never heard of anyone
dying for that. Those
who face an expected
teenage pregnancy and
deal with it with
maturity, with or
without family support,
are true heroes who
deserve our praise, not
our condemnation. We
live in a funny world,
where the single mum or
the teenage couple who
have a baby are
demonised by society
while the couple who go
for a discreet abortion
lives is praised. In
this matter, we must
have a broader view and
understand the degree of
maturity those
challenges demand. As we
say, sexuality and
responsibility walk hand
in hand, literally…
Why is the sexual act
still viewed by many
people as promiscuous
and sinful?
Because we carry the
burden of centuries of
Catholic control in
Brazil and a very narrow
view on this matter.
Despite the publication
decades ago of Spiritist
books such as “Vida e
Sexo” (“Life and Sex”)
by Emmanuel/Chico Xavier
or the works of living
author Jorge Andrea, we
have not been able to
change our approach. We
have continued to view
sexuality as something
negative, almost a
necessary evil. And even
though Aids is
widespread in Africa,
the Catholic Church
continues to reject the
use of condoms. From
this kingdom of the
forbidden arises this
range of hypocritical
practices Spiritism has
vowed to fight. But I
must add: in many
Spiritist Centrs we
still see cases of
teenage women expelled
for getting pregnant and
women discriminated
against for getting a
divorce or for entering
a new relationship. And
many of us prefer simply
not to discuss these
matters, sweeping the
problem under the
carpet.
Sexual matters need to
be reflected upon,
studied and talked
about. They are
important to strengthen
our hearts and minds.
Young Spiritists must be
prepared to face the
challenges of the world,
and that includes the
challenges in dealing
with their affections
and feelings. We often
spend a long time
talking about less
important matters with
young Spiritists and
neglect such an
important issue, either
for fear of debating it
or for lack of people
interested in taking it
on. Finally I would like
to recommend three
articles I have
published on this
publication in its
previews editions on the
same subject:
Spiritist dating
http://www.oconsolador.com.br/ano4/193/marcus_braga.html
Abortion
http://www.oconsolador.com.br/ano6/263/marcus_braga.html
Reflections on life as a
couple
http://www.oconsolador.com.br/ano4/202/marcus_braga.html
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