Lucy Dias Ramos (photo) comes from a Spiritist family in the Brazilian state of Minas Gerais. Lucy has worked for many decades at a Spiritist Centre in the city of Juiz de Fora. In her private life, Lucy had to face the challenge of her daughter Sandra’s discarnation. In her latest book, she describes the experience and talks about the messages received from her daughter.  Tell us about your latest book and the personal experience behind it.  My latest book, Maior que a Vida, published by the Brazilian Spiritist

Federation, is a narrative of my experience next to Sandra, my eldest daughter, a medical doctor who fought cancer for five years. As we were both Spiritists, we went through this very painful experience with resignation and a certain degree of tranquillity. We used all the tools the Spiritist Doctrine makes available. We used to read together, to pray in order to face this painful transition process with courage and confidence in God. I kept a diary, making notes at the end of every day about what we’d gone through. The diary was the basis for the book just published.

How did you organise in the book your personal experiences and the teachings from Spiritism? 

I tried to highlight the importance of knowing the theory as well as living according to the Gospel. That’s something my daughter and I always aimed for in our lives and something I hope will comfort other people going through similar experiences. The first part of the book describes our experiences doing her illness. The second part is made up of messages about death. Some were lectures I gave after my daughter’s death, when I was part of a group that helps those who stay to deal with the pain of the departure of their loved ones to the Spiritual World. 

Why did you decide to make a book out of such a personal experience? 

While I was making notes to my diary, before Sandra’s death, I wasn’t considering publishing a book. I was writing as catharsis, something that helped me deal with the pain. A friend of mine, a psychologist with whom I was doing therapy at the time, said it would be a good idea to publish my notes as it would help other people. I finished the book just one year after her discarnation. It was very hard. Some of the chapters, I wrote them in tears. I haven’t still been able to read the chapter describing her last days. But what I would like to emphasise is that faith and love inside us will give us the power to carry on living, working and helping others, and that is stronger than the pain. 

Is all your family Spiritist? What was the reaction from other family members to the publication of the book? 

My closer family is Spiritist, but even some family members who are not Spiritist, like brothers-in-law and daughters-in-law, liked the book. My daughter’s family – her husband and children – were particularly happy about it. Even friends who follow other religions have given me positive feedback. 

What other books have you published? 

Recados de Amor (2008) and Luzes do Entardecer (2009), both published by the Brazilian Spiritist Federation (FEB). I’ve written another book, which is to be published by FEB later this year, called Gotas de Otimismo e Paz (Drops of Peace and Optimism). It will be a different book, with messages focusing on our daily struggles and challenges. It will try to demonstrate that the Spiritist Doctrine inspires us to be happy and live in peace and tranquillity, even when we go through processes of readjustment and pain. 

How much do you think being a Spiritist helped you in the face of pain? 

That was hugely important, especially feeling the comfort and support from the Spiritual World in the toughest times. Having the Spiritual Benefactors constantly near me help soothe the pain. And the knowledge of the Doctrine gave me the reassurance that we will meet again and that material life is provisional. And often I was taken to meeting in the Spiritual World during my sleep, receiving the assistance and love from discarnate relatives and friends, which again helped me going through a very painful period. 

Based on your experience, what would you have to say to people going through a similar situation? 

Above all, don’t despair. Trust God, as everything goes one day. The pain will eventually become more bearable, and we need to carry on living with peace in our hearts. Our loved ones, who’ve already departed, will get the vibrations from our thoughts. The calmer and more confident we are, the better, as they don’t deserve to receive our emissions of despair and pain. They need to find their balance in order to pursue their spiritual path, as we will, one day. They also miss us, but we mustn’t stop them in their development on the other dimension of life, by making efforts to keep them next to us. If you really love them, pray and trust Jesus. The spiritual exchange will provide the relief and tranquillity needed. But it’s important that you are in harmony with yourself in order to contact a discarnate family member without disturbing them with tears and worries… As you go to bed, pray to Jesus, pray for yourself and your loved one who’s departed and you will certainly meet him or her in spirit during your body’s sleep. 

This approach – that separation is only temporary – does it normally work? What is the best approach to deal with the issue in public meetings or one-to-one conversations? 

I think it is a valid approach, as we’ve all gone through that, or will do. It is important to emphasize the belief in the immortality of the soul and the possibility of meeting again our discarnate family members and friends. There will be many opportunities to meet, as spirits, even before we also depart to the Spiritual World. We also must make it very clear that life as incarnates, physical life, is provisional. We must try to awaken in each person who comes to us the urge to leave behind material possessions, to pay less attention to all that, and to encourage active work for good causes. When my daughter discarnated, I got even more involved with my work at the Spiritist Centre. I began attending every day and adding other duties to the ones I used to have, I started to write more often. All that helped me for a period, before I went back to my previous schedule, the duties I did before which I see as a true blessing. 

What was the most interesting aspect of the messages dictated by your daughter through the medium, Suely Caldas Schubert? 

I was amazed by how similar the concepts mentioned in the message were to what I taught her since her childhood in the Gospel in the Home meetings. There’s an extract I would like to repeat: “There’s no death, only life! The adaptation is slow, things over here are not rushed as they are over there, we don’t need to count the minutes just because the shift is over and we need to go back home. Home is here! We’re at home all the time. Gradually our conscience expands and this new perception of live is immersed into us. (…) But one thing I can say: love prevails over here!” That is the same tone, the same style that she used in so many letters she used to write, or even in Christmas or Mother’s Day’s cards. She always talked about the mutual love we nurtured, that would transcend material life. 

Is that message part of the book? 

Yes, and there’s another one, also in the book, received some six months after her discarnation, which is shorter and describes in a very clear way her arrival in the Spiritual World. The feedback from friends and family has been positive, each one reacting to their level of knowledge of Spiritism. And no one has expressed any doubts over the content of that message, which brought great comfort to all of us who had the privilege of sharing our lives with Sandra.